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A saint asked his disciples, ‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’His disciples thought for a while, one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.’
‘But, why do you shout when the other person is just next to you?’ asked the saint.’Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you’re angry?’
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint. Finally he explained, ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.’Then the saint asked, ‘What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small…’ The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.
‘MORAL’ said the saint: ‘When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return!’
Disclosure: My current boss is nothing like above, though I admit I have had a boss in the past who breathed down my neck 24/7 like pointy-haired Wally.
pic courtesy: www.dilbert.com
This is a self-help book that shares wisdom designed to enrich the quality of a persons’ professional, personal, and spiritual life. The book contains 101 simple solutions to be integrated into ones’ life. At just 195 pages, the book is a speed read. However to get the full benefit of each suggestion, it is a good idea to read the book slowly. Start from the beginning and read one solution each day. Reading the whole book in one sitting might leave you overwhelmed with information, making it easy to miss the point or forget the tips. That’s how I felt after reading the book
The best part of this book is how easy it is to read. Each solution is a short one to two pages and very easy to incorporate into one’s life. Some solutions are common knowledge, but a great number of them are unique, useful, and insightful. The book is quite holistic and covers a wide arena of topics. Tips like “always carry a book with you” ensures lifelong learning, while “spend a day without your watch” covers slowing down.
The book starts off with a quote from Norman Cousins: “The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of ourselves when we live.” But the best quote, that stuck a chord in me was when Robin quotes his father’s words “The tree that has the most fruits is the tree that bends to touch the ground”. Meaning the people who know the most and who have lived the most are also the people closest to the ground. In a word, they are humble.
4 Gates of Speech
He also quotes an old Sufi tradition which advises us to speak only after our words have managed to pass through four gates. At the first gate, we ask ourselves, “Are these words true?” If so, we let them pass on; At the second gate we ask; “Are they necessary?” At the third gate we ask; “Are they beneficial?” and at the fourth gate, we ask, “Are they kind?” If the answer to any of these is no, then what you are about to say should be left unsaid.
I definitely recommend this book. If you want simple steps that tell you how to improve your life, this book is it.