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Movie: Anari (1959)
Director: Hrishikesh Mukherjee
Music: Shankar Jaikishen
Lyrics: Shailendra
Singer: Mukesh

I am an ardent fan of the Late Mukesh the playback singer, as evident from my past eulogy for him. This song with simple lyrics, beautifully explains what life is all about. It is tailor made for Raj Kapoor who loved playing the role of a tramp immortalized earlier by the great Charlie Chaplin.

Hindi Lyrics with Translation

किसी की मुस्कुराहटों पे हो निसार
किसी का दर्द मिल सके तो ले उधार
किसी के वासते हो तेरे दिल में प्यार
जीना इसी का नाम है

To give yourself to someone who smiles,
To share someone’s pain,
To have love for someone in your heart,
This is what life is all about…

माना अपनी जेब से फ़कीर हैं
फिर भी यारों दिल के हम अमीर हैं
मिटे जो प्यार के लिए वो ज़िन्दगी
जले बहार के लिए वो ज़िन्दगी
किसी को हो ना हो हमें तो ऐतबार
जीना इसी…

I accept my empty pockets show am a pauper,
Yet, dear friends, I am rich in my heart,
To give my all for love is what is life,
To yearn for spring is what is life,
This I believe, though some may not,
This is what life is all about…

रिश्ता दिल से दिल के ऐतबार का
जिंदा है हमीं से नाम प्यार का
के मर के भी किसी को याद आयेंगे
किसी के आंसुओं में मुस्कुराएंगे
कहेगा फूल हर कली से बार-बार
जीना इसी…

Trust is what binds a heart to heart,
Immortal is love due to (people like) me,
That I would be remembered by someone after I am gone,
Makes me smile that someone will shed tears for me,
And flowers will say to buds, on and on,
This is what life is all about…

Disclaimer:  It’s not easy to translate Urdu and Hindi words to English without losing the subtle meaning and nuances that it conveys. Please let me know if you have better translation of these lyrics.
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We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.

– Virginia Satir (1916 – 1988, American author, social worker and known as the Mother of Family Therapy)

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By Tyler Perry –

I have this tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever…They are all placed inside what I call my tree test. It goes like this:

LEAF PEOPLE
Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can’t depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can’t be angry at them, it’s just who they are.

BRANCH PEOPLE
There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it’s possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it’s tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can’t handle too much weight. But again, you can’t be mad with them, it’s just who they are.

ROOT PEOPLE
If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don’t let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you.

Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots. Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people’s lives?

THANK GOD FOR YOUR ROOTS!
You may want to call them today or share this message with them and attach your own note saying, “thanks for being my root”.

By the way, don’t waste your time sharing this with a leaf, they won’t get it anyway.

Here is Tyler Perry saying it far more effectively in his play –

 

That Friend Walking Behind Me

Audio reading of this post

Imagine that for many years a friend had been walking a block behind me, calling my name, trying to get my attention because he wanted to tell me some hard but healing truths about myself. But I — afraid of what I might hear, or arrogantly certain I had nothing to learn — ignored his calls and kept on walking.

So my friend came closer and called my name louder, but I walked on, refusing to turn around. Closer still he came, now shouting my name. Frustrated by my lack of response, he began to throw stones and hit me with sticks, still wanting nothing more than to get my attention. But despite the pain I felt, I kept walking away.

Since calls and shouts, sticks and stones, had failed to get my attention, there was only one thing left for my friend to do: drop the bomb called depression on me. He did so not with intent to kill, but in a last-ditch effort to get me to turn toward him and ask a simple question: “What do you want?” When I finally made that turn — and began taking in and acting on the self-knowledge he’d been waiting to offer me — I took first steps on the path to wellbeing.

Thomas Merton’s name for that friend is “true self.” This is not the ego self that wants to inflate us. It’s not the intellectual self that wants to hover above life’s mess with logical but ungrounded ideas. It’s not the ethical self that wants to live by someone else’s “oughts.” It’s not the spiritual self that wants to “slip the surly bonds of Earth” and fly nonstop to heaven.

True self is the self with which we arrived on earth, the self that simply wants us to be who we were born to be. True self tells us who we are, where we are planted in the ecosystem of life, what “right action” looks like for us, and how we can grow more fully into our own potentials. As an old Hasidic tale reminds us, our mission is to live into the shape of true self, not the shape of someone else’s life: “Before he died, Rabbi Zusya said: ‘In the world to come they will not ask me, ‘Why were you not Moses?’ They will ask me, ‘Why were you not Zusya?’”

Memo to myself: Stay on the ground, turn around, ask and listen! True self is true friend — it’s a friendship we ignore at our peril. And pass the word: friends don’t let friends live at altitude!

– by Parker Palmer (Jun 13, 2016)

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